I just feel the need to express my feelings of AAAAAAH because I feel like I don't really know what's going on, I constantly feel like I'm missing something or forgetting something big. Like I'm going to get to school on the first day and they'll be like "haha, you forgot to sign this form, we'll have to cancel your entire enrollment, sucks to be you!" I just filled out the MPN for financial aid which I feel like I'm really late on, but it's confusing because there was no deadline or timeline or anything! UT just randomly sent me an email saying they released "some or all" of my financial aid funds and I'm just so confused because I hadn't even signed the MPN yet. (At times like these, I remind myself that people like [redacted] who are literally constantly late and overdue and disorganized on everything still manage to survive somehow... and calm down just a little...) I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I feel like this financial aid stuff is pretty much dealt with but there's going to be other stuff that I have to deal with, and the amount of anxiety I feel about it is disproportionately large. Even though I'm freaked out, though, I know I'll be okay in the end as long as I make my plans well and keep track of things.
Just some thoughts from today.
Saturday, August 24, 2019
Wednesday, August 21, 2019
It continues
The bronchitis. IT STILL HASN'T GONE AWAY. I guess it's really not all that bad because at least the fever is gone, but now it's just the cough, which is really annoying, mostly because it's been keeping me up at night and making me throw up.
Anywho, I have been sick and also kind of busy BUT I still managed to make a really bad painting. (Idk, one day I just got this sudden random urge to paint, which I haven't actually done in a long time. I should really make more art!)
So yeah... This is a somewhat abstract painting of a modern art statue found in Banff. I just thought the reflections on it looked really interesting and might be fun to paint, which they were. I wish I paid more attention to what I was doing with the paint colors, because that greenish color did not look nice at all. Actually I didn't do a good job of reproducing the grayness of that one, probably because I did all the colors in big patches,,,, oh well, this painting was a quick impression anyways. Also, if you noticed that it's actually sideways on the easel and that the photo is rotated over, that's because I painted it sideways, the only reason being that I was looking at the reference photo on my phone which I couldn't stand upright because it was charging. XD
Here's the original photo by the way so you can fully appreciate the extent of mediocrity that my painting turned out to be. I really didn't have the right shade of blue/cyan paint to achieve the right colors that I wanted, and if I were to do it again, I would abstractify all the way to get something more colorful and interesting. As it is, right now this painting is kind of in-between-ish, not quite abstract enough to be good, not quite realistic enough to be good either. I think I went into it wanting to make a really bold abstraction of it, but not quite knowing how or being brave enough to really bring out the interesting bits. Also, the brushwork is just really lazy and disorganized. If I did it again I would arrange the brush directions to actually kind of make sense. When it became clear this painting wasn't going to be it, I just skipped on the background entirely. I just picked a really hard subject to paint in the first place, so really, I don't feel bad about it at all. Just a bit disappointed I didn't get something cooler out of it I guess.
If some stranger came upon this blog they would probably think I'm just a somewhat shitty artist, and I know I'm trying not to care what people think, but there's a difference between someone thinking something about me based on valid representations and straight up just not being represented fairly or truthfully, and I think that in this case I'm justified in wanting people to know that I actually can make much better art when I actually try, and it's in a more familiar style rather than being something experimental. So please allow me to prove to you theoretical reader my skill in one of the only things I actually feel I'm somewhat good at.
Oil painting of glass swan
Colored pencil drawing of doggo <3
Oil painting of street through wet car window
Pen and water of snail <3
Ok I think that's enough self-congratulation ahaha. Well I hope anyone who sees this likes my art. Anyways, I better go practice violin.
Anywho, I have been sick and also kind of busy BUT I still managed to make a really bad painting. (Idk, one day I just got this sudden random urge to paint, which I haven't actually done in a long time. I should really make more art!)
So yeah... This is a somewhat abstract painting of a modern art statue found in Banff. I just thought the reflections on it looked really interesting and might be fun to paint, which they were. I wish I paid more attention to what I was doing with the paint colors, because that greenish color did not look nice at all. Actually I didn't do a good job of reproducing the grayness of that one, probably because I did all the colors in big patches,,,, oh well, this painting was a quick impression anyways. Also, if you noticed that it's actually sideways on the easel and that the photo is rotated over, that's because I painted it sideways, the only reason being that I was looking at the reference photo on my phone which I couldn't stand upright because it was charging. XD
Here's the original photo by the way so you can fully appreciate the extent of mediocrity that my painting turned out to be. I really didn't have the right shade of blue/cyan paint to achieve the right colors that I wanted, and if I were to do it again, I would abstractify all the way to get something more colorful and interesting. As it is, right now this painting is kind of in-between-ish, not quite abstract enough to be good, not quite realistic enough to be good either. I think I went into it wanting to make a really bold abstraction of it, but not quite knowing how or being brave enough to really bring out the interesting bits. Also, the brushwork is just really lazy and disorganized. If I did it again I would arrange the brush directions to actually kind of make sense. When it became clear this painting wasn't going to be it, I just skipped on the background entirely. I just picked a really hard subject to paint in the first place, so really, I don't feel bad about it at all. Just a bit disappointed I didn't get something cooler out of it I guess.
If some stranger came upon this blog they would probably think I'm just a somewhat shitty artist, and I know I'm trying not to care what people think, but there's a difference between someone thinking something about me based on valid representations and straight up just not being represented fairly or truthfully, and I think that in this case I'm justified in wanting people to know that I actually can make much better art when I actually try, and it's in a more familiar style rather than being something experimental. So please allow me to prove to you theoretical reader my skill in one of the only things I actually feel I'm somewhat good at.
Oil painting of glass swan
Colored pencil drawing of doggo <3
Oil painting of street through wet car window
Pen and water of snail <3
Ok I think that's enough self-congratulation ahaha. Well I hope anyone who sees this likes my art. Anyways, I better go practice violin.
Saturday, August 10, 2019
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