So I Was Reading My Diary from Fifth Grade

And facepalming sooooooooooooooo hard.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH WHAT EVEN IS THIS
I kept that journal in my top drawer next to my bed for all these years and all 70 college ruled sheets of paper in this spiral notebook are filled with.. just... what?!?
FIRST OF ALL, DID I SERIOUSLY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO THINK ABOUT THAN THINGS LIKE HOW TO IMPROVE MY HANDWRITING AND WHAT I'M GOING TO GET FOR MY BIRTHDAY AND WHAT I'M GOING TO NAME MY FISH AND HOW I'M GOING TO ARRANGE MY SCHOOL SUPPLIES FOR THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL?!?!?!! I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING..... I LITERALLY RANTED LIKE HALF A PAGE ABOUT THE PINK METAL RULER THAT MY SISTER STOLE:

I got crayons for 25 cents, really cool colored pencils, a large assortment of erasers, and fine tip sharpies, and a pink metal ruler (that my sister just stole and I'm in a pretty bad mood right now... I'm just trying to write happy) I want my ruler back. My sister doesn't even like pink. She was actually afraid of the color in second grade. She stole it because she knew it would make me unhappy. I hate my sister. I want us to make up, but she enjoys torturing me. I try to be nice to her and she stares at me like I've gone crazy, with a "who are you and what did you do with my sister" look on her face. SIGH. Anyways see you after I find my ruler.

OKAY I AM FACEPALMING
SO
HARD
WHAT
EVEN
OKAY AND THERE WAS ALSO THIS FARMING GAME THING I PLAYED AND IT'S RIDICULOUS HOW MUCH I WROTE ABOUT THAT
WORST OF ALL, ARE THE MANY SICKENING PAGES SPENT OBSESSING ABOUT MY FIFTH GRADE CRUSH. IT'S. ABSOLUTELY. HORRIBLE. I AM MORTIFIED. I AM DISGUSTED. I AM REPULSED. I AM REVOLTED. I AM ABHORRED. I AM GOING TO GO SIT IN A HOLE IN MY BACKYARD IN SHAME AND MORTIFIED EMBARRASSMENT NOW.

KHRHKBYBYXDHJUNRBXDBHKXRDTXGHJBXRJDTBHJMXZBXPBSRTHJBATEGFMBUSETRVBAJSTEVBHMRTGBTB

NO ACTUALLY, I LIED. THAT'S NOT THE WORST. THE WORST IS HOW MUCH OF AN ARROGANT SPOILED CHILD I WAS. I WAS SO SELF-RIGHTEOUS. IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT CHILD!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

I WAS SO JUDGMENTAL OF OTHER PEOPLE AND I THOUGHT I WAS SO GREAT AT DRAWING AND I THOUGHT I WAS SMARTER THAN EVERYONE!! HOLY BIRDBOWLS!!!!! I WANT TO CRY FREAKING RIGHT NOW!! 

YEP, DO YOU SEE THIS EVERYONE?!!!?!!!?!??!?!! THIS IS ME!!!! I SUCK!!! YOU KNOW THE TRUTH NOW AND SO DO I!! IT HURTS!! IT HURTS SO MUCH AND I CAN'T EVER CHANGE A THING ABOUT THE PAST!!