So anyways, I saw this video
Even I myself, a teenage girl, tend to trust guys more than girls. I've had my crises, the "OMG IM FREAKING OUT AND NO ONE CARES" and I go rant things at people like (or spam people with messages of) "OMGOMG"s and "AWREHJGTRSEKAREHRAKAERHYKSTHJTRSJ" and "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" and "I'M GOING TO DIE WHAT AM I GOING TO DO I CAN'T KEEP PROCRASTINATING AND DEPRIVING MYSELF OF SLEEP LIKE THIS" and "|********" and et cetera. Sometimes it just really feels like my life problems are going to eat me alive and I just want someone to listen to me rant and care. Words sometimes don't seem to be enough when I'm overjoyed at something or deeply moved by some awesome art or something.
Sometimes I try to express it with art, but most of the time it just results in me freaking out for a long time and spamming people with messages about how pretty this painting of waterlilies is. Because I want them to know, I want to share my feelings, I want them to feel with me, and maybe the number of letters in this string of random letters will convey the intensity of my emotion. Because right now this painting is the most beautiful freaking thing in the whole universe and it's worth crying over.
Just look at it! It's perfection!!!
Well anyways, it's ironic because I emote so much in an attempt to get people to understand and sympathize and to BREAK THE WALLS OF SEPARATE HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS that people listen to what I'm saying less. It's like, the meaning behind my words gets... diluted, somehow. Like, I spend so much time talking and freaking out about small things like what color the stupid dress is, that when I actually want to say something important, some deep philosophy I want to share, I feel like its meaning is less... meaningful.
And I know it's not just me. Laci points out that women in particular tend to be more crazy with expressing their emotions. Why, though? Do women feel more intensely? Are they more sensitive? Or is it that they feel more of a need to express and be understood? What's the real difference here between the genders, and why? Maybe women just have a rougher time, especially during the teenage years that I'm currently going through, and they need to talk about their emotions as a way of getting them in order. I imagine it like this cycle:
people trust less/
--------------→ pay less attention --------------
| to them |
↓
women are more women try harder
hysterical to communicate
↑ |
-----------------------------------------------------
Forgive the crappy quality.
Anyways the cycle makes sense to me. So then what sets that cycle into motion? The root cause must either be at "women are more hysterical" than men by nature, or "people trust them less/pay less attention." It makes sense that this would happen. Women have for most of history never had voices. They've been treated like property in the past. They had to work much harder than men to make themselves heard, they're more, uh, vocal, because they aren't listened to. Obviously things are changed now, but the cycle remains there. That kinda sucks. I don't know, it's my own theory, but it makes enough sense for me.
So one cause is that women were historically given less power. But that doesn't prove women to not be naturally more hysterical than men. Maybe it's both reasons, fueling each other.
I used to be a really quiet girl. I didn't like talking and I usually kept things to myself, but only because I felt no one listened. In middle school my close group of friends was broken so I was forced to talk to new people. That's when I began getting louder, I began talking more. It probably has a lot to do with becoming a teenager. Emotions get scary real then. I've always felt the desire to be heard and truly understood, but I didn't have the courage before that. Now I'm so loud and annoying I honestly have no idea how my friends put up with me. And I'm noticing it. I see clearly that my over-dramatic reactions to everything are not helping me communicate. It's like increasing the volume of everything until you get to that point that everything sounds the same volume and the important things get lost in the large amount of other trivial matters. I'm trying to pull back and reserve my speech. I disabled my social media account, resetting everything and then getting my account back and now I only have like 8 people in my circles. Social isolation. I tried. It's not easy. Now that I'm in the habit of sharing every little thing, it's hard to stop.
Trying to communicate more effectively by being louder and more enthusiastic and emotional is counterproductive. Being too quiet isn't great either, I've been there too. Well, it's not like I exactly disliked being quiet. It was easier in a lot of ways. But it's not so nice to the people who care. And in any case the need to feel understood still exists. There's a delicate balance between talking and not talking, between trivial small talk vs world-changing philosophical discussions, and between blunt honestly and politeness, in order for optimal communication.
In the meantime, please keep in mind not to dismiss others' words and feelings-- just because they're women or they over-exaggerate everything, or they always seem to want attention, or they often lie, or they talk a certain way that just rubs you the wrong way, or maybe they don't talk at all because they're shy-- because really, we all just want the same thing, to know that people out there genuinely care and believe and understand what we're going through, what we're thinking. The different ways people try to go about achieving this don't always work. That perfect delicate balance is hard to find. Usually people end up talking way too much trying to get people to listen, or way too little out of fear or feeling of not being wanted. It's nobody's fault that communication is hard. The least you can do is try to pay attention to other people more. Try to understand. Try to look at the world from another person's perspective. After all, when it comes to the important things, we're not all so different.
(I like how this entire post had like nothing to do with the original video.)
(Now I'm going to hope that the fact that I'm a female and a teenager doesn't somehow ruin the credibility of this post.)
AI LAIK
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