7:13 left to say something useful

i've been a bit apprehensive about this whole idea of just putting whatever on here even though no one is going to see it. very afraid that i'm going to quit this whole thing really quickly. maybe not afraid but more like worried. pessimistic? or that it's really just going to be a lot of garbage for a long time and that it's NEVER going to get better. all this and i haven't even really started yet! and I haven't even sorted out how this thing is going to work in my day to day schedule yet. (Ha, what schedule?) and i'm just constantly jealous of people who are able to put themselves out there and make the things they want to make, and make them well. i think maybe later today i'll give another go at "things that she said" because my last attempt was really a non-attempt and i just gave up at the ed really. i'm thinking about if i can pass this blog off to some strangers online, or maybe not strangers but maybe paulo or the LWSH. Just so i'm not really just posting a lot of shit things out for nobody to see, like some sort of insane person talking to herself.